now

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updated

mental health news

things are looking up! things are still hard but week by week it feels like there’s just a little bit more that i can do or enjoy. i stopped seeing my therapist and that was scary because it was the first time i’d done that because we’d simply come to the end of useful work. i’m undecided on what, if any, therapy i’d like to do next. it’s a little weird to finally be out of the mindspace of desperately yearning for someone to “fix” me and instead be sorta okay on my own

things i’ve been enjoying

  • finished my Earthsea reading for the relevant bits of the shelved by genre podcast. it was fun and i loved seeing the change over the course of the series. also read the dao de jing off the back of this which was a fascinating experience
  • reread The Locked Tomb series. i got ill with covid for the first time[1], and needed something that would help me get some rest. this worked perfectly, as it was available on audio through my library app (could close my eyes), i’d read it before (it was familiar), i didn’t understand everything the first time (stimulating enough to not be tempted to get up)
  • various sewing projects. i’ve been picking up basic crafty skills like crocheting/knitting/sewing lately and i’m really enjoying making stuff that i can use. it reminds me a lot of when i first learned programming, except it’s stuff i can touch
  • speaking of programming i made a bunch of changes to this site, like putting the grid squares everywhere and adding pages. i hope the changes won’t mess up the feed too much
  • the swans in the park have 6 or 7 eggs in their nest!! birds are great. i love the bit where ed yong has talked about birding with respect to community and mental health and coping with the feelings around systemic societal failures (like wrt covid). i’m not that deep into looking at birds but i’ve started trying to identify the ones in the park. my favourite was finding the black headed gulls because they didn’t have black heads! they were in their winter coat with adorable black spots on their cheeks. and speaking of winter, there was one day the pond partially froze over and we got to watch ducks slipping and sliding on the ice. yay birds 🐦

footnotes

  1. that i know of. i have a bunch of grumpy feelings about covid that i haven’t put together yet, which made me feel like all my thoughts were on hold until i’d sorted that out ↩︎