covid precautions and mental health

i stopped covid precautions for my mental health xoxo

— too many people

for me, taking covid seriously again has been, on balance, positive for my mental health

i don’t mean the preventative reasons (although they’re important too!). i mean that the act of taking precautions has felt like it’s rewired part of my being

every time i put on a mask, keep a mask on, open a window, move an event outside, monitor the air quality, stay home with symptoms — every time i make a choice to reduce the risk of airborne transmission, i affirm my belief that it’s worth doing

and i also affirm other beliefs, like “my life is worth protecting”, “it’s possible to do things, however small, to make the world a better place”, “i’m allowed to disagree with my family, friends, employers, or people with ‘leftist’ beliefs”, “i’m allowed to set boundaries and follow them”, “i’m allowed to be different”, “a disabled life is worth living”, and so on

a surprising number of the patterns that trigger my depression and anxiety are also the patterns that made me stop masking in 2021. and a surprising number of the new patterns that help me feel more stable are ones that make taking precautions easier, and are reinforced by doing so

that’s not to say it’s easy. sometimes, it’s really hard. a lot of why is due to ableism, which sucks!!! but that’s external and and for me external screaming >>>>>> internal screaming

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anyway! yet another post where i argue with a phrase that was bouncing around my head like the dvd logo. i don’t want to imply that it’s never true for anyone, but instead convey that it kinda fucked with my head to believe it was universal and specifically true for me